For Us Alone
by Conqueror Worm
Summary: He'd do anything for her. Just don't hate me for this, he'd pleaded softly into her ear. It's for us. All of it's for us. But is it really? Pansy questions the path Draco has led them on with the help of Hagrid. Part of my set of Dark Choices oneshots.


Pansy smoothed the wrinkles out of her new black dress robes as she took a seat in the back. She silently cursed herself for her seating choice, as she was uncomfortably close to the sobbing half-giant and his huge brother. For a moment, her heart leapt at the sight of Crabbe and Goyle making their way towards her, but she was instantly reminded of why she had been avoiding them; they just weren't the same without Draco standing between them. Life just wasn't the same without Draco.

Their sixth year was supposed to be different. Even though they'd slept together for the first of many times after the Yule Ball in fourth year, Draco hadn't started showing affection in public until the end of fifth, when he'd kissed her roughly in the common room for saying he most certainly was better than Harry Potter. In fact, even in private, Draco hadn't shown her any true affection. But the summer had at least brought a new step in their relationship. They had entered into a system of Pansy doing something uncomfortable for Draco in return for rather indifferent displays of public affection. A loose hand hold, a quick kiss. But it had meant so much to Pansy, and it hadn't seemed to matter to Draco who saw them together anymore.

But things had started to change as sixth year approached. He was quiet and avoided her eyes. He'd snap at her for making advances towards him. It was like he didn't want anything to do with her anymore.

September first had been so nice. He'd hung on her again, his smugness evident in his every move. He was himself again. But that had all ended the more sixth year had progressed. He seemed to shrink into himself, not caring about anything, least of all Pansy. She never saw him anymore, and when she tried to approach him, he'd sadly wave her off.

"Is it someone else?" she'd ask, worried.

"No," he'd muttered, clutching his left forearm as he headed towards the seventh floor.

And a few nights ago, he'd been almost the same way. Quiet and avoiding her eyes, as if he was ashamed of something. But he'd kissed her gently. He'd held her hand as if he never wanted to let go. He'd made love to her and then held her in his arms, stroking her hair and saying how much he loved her. Only her. He'd do anything for her. "Just don't hate me for this," he'd pleaded softly into her ear. "It's for us. All of it's for us."

It wasn't until Slughorn had announced when Dumbledore's funeral was to be held that Pansy had really understood what Draco had meant and why her stomach had been filled with dread since that day on the train, when he'd told their group of Slytherins about serving the Dark Lord.

Pansy bit her lip as Goyle and Crabbe rose to their feet and shuffled away towards the castle. Pansy looked around feeling lost. That's all she had felt since Draco had fled with Snape. Hogwarts didn't make sense anymore.

Crabbe turned back around to look at her. "You coming?" he grunted.

"I... Go ahead without me." Pansy looked around. There was Dumbledore's tomb. The retreating backs of the centaurs. Harry Potter walking away from the Minister. Hagrid, sobbing his heart out. This last sight stirred something in Pansy's heart. A question that burned worse than guilt.

Pansy waited until Crabbe and Goyle had disappeared in the crowd before she got to her feet. She walked until the giant, now cuddling his half-brother, looked up at her. "Hagger," he grunted, sounding a lot like Crabbe. The black mass of hair stirred in his arms.

"Hag...I mean, Professor Hagrid?"

"Huh?" Hagrid looked up, his eyes so red and puffy it was a wonder he could see her well enough to be astonished at the way _she _had addressed him.

"I'm sorry," she said, placing a hand briefly over his before drawing it back, as if burned.

He looked at her, nodding slowly. "Ya poor kids. Ya don't know the consequences of yer actions." He shook his head sadly, wiping his eyes with the back of his huge hand, though more tears quickly replaced them.

"But that's just it," she said, starting to cry for the first time since she'd heard about Draco. "We do. But it's not for us. It's all for Him. Because He says so." She paused for a moment, the streaks of tears on her cheeks matching his. "But that doesn't make us any less sorry."

Hagrid studied Pansy through puffy eyes for a moment before he rose to his massive feet, pulling a spotted handkerchief from his pocket as he went. He blew his nose with a loud honk. "Er, come on," he said, motioning for her to follow him. "There's some people I want ya to meet." Pansy followed him towards a crowd of people standing solemnly by Dumbledore's tomb. A young woman with a heart-shaped face and pink hair noticed them first and said something to the group. They all turned around and stared, causing Pansy's steps to falter.

After a few large steps, Hagrid noticed Pansy wasn't following him. He turned and looked back at her. "Ya comin'?"

Pansy stared at Dumbledore's tomb for a moment, wondering what the consequences for _this _action would be. Making up her own mind for once, she nodded to Hagrid, her eyes never leaving Dumbledore's tomb as she walked in his wake. "But this," she whispered. "_This _is for us."


End file.
